Oh my goodness. It’s only Wednesday. My week started off a bit crazy. Kole is sick. :( Hate that. I hate it for him and I hate it for me. Monday was L-O-N-G. He was so fussy and just wanted to be held and of course I had so much going on. By 5:30 I was completely exhausted. I’m helping Ellie with her report on Benjamin Franklin due the next day, dealing with Addie in one of her moods, entertaining and holding a very fussy Kole. I called Kenny at work and our conversation went something like this:
K – Hi babe. How is your day going?
E – I don’t care what call you think you need to be on or what client you think you need to deal with, I need you home. By 6:00. I’m hanging on by a very thin thread right now.
K – Oh no. I’m so sorry. Should I pick up dinner?
E – No. I made dinner. In the middle of this chaos. Probably a big part of why I’m hanging on by a very thin thread right now. (Kole crying in the background)
K – I’ll be home soon.
7:30 rolls around and Kenny walks in from work. Kole is in bed. Girls are on their way to bed. Kitchen is clean. I’m a zombie.
K – So sorry babe. I tried to get away…
E – You’re dead to me.
Every have those day? Every day after I get the kids in bed and the house picked-up I feel tired. Monday night I felt like I was seriously going to die. It is very rare that I make a call like that to Kenny. I seem to be dealing with a string of tired/long/hard days with my kids right now. I know it’s not a three kid thing or a boy thing or even a Kole thing. It’s a one year old thing. I struggle with this age. Newborn stage and age 1 to about 2 1/2 are so hard for me. I love my babies and I know I will miss a lot of things when they are all in school. But some things I won’t miss. Days like my Monday I won’t miss.
The upside to my tough day is that since Kenny felt so bad he couldn’t come home early he has been extra sweet and helpful. I’m happy to report he is no longer dead to me. :)
I switched a few things up around the house again. You know. In an attempt to deal with my life right now. Organizing and decorating are all about control for me. I can’t control the craziness that explodes around me with my kids every day. But I can control some things in my environment. Like my Valentine mantel. Which I changed — AGAIN.
Not a big switch. Just back to the winter mantel with the heart in the wreath. And the heart garland. I like it. And I promise that I’ll leave it alone. At least for a week or two.
Oh. And I moved the birds together. Because they are in love. At least for this month. :)
I knew my girls would be upset that once again I didn’t have the candy and the heart wreath out, so I put the candy in this dish (a keepsake from my grandma).
Then I moved a few things around and added the heart wreath to my hutch.
Now when people walk in the front door they immediately feel the love and can grab some candy on the way in! The girls are happy and so am I! Kole’s happiness is a work in progress…
A quick Valentine mantel recap:
And all is right in the world again.
p.s. MUCH better day today. :)
xoxo, Erin
I think we all have days like that! I know I do.. My girls are 3 and 4.. Only 364 days apart. Some days I feel like I have twins.. Some days I call Micheal and say “PLEASE tell me you’re on your way home!?”. It’s normal. We’re normal. I try not to let any of it get me down (easier said than done, sometimes) since my oldest starts school in the fall.. I know I will be wishing for those days back.. :/ Glad you’re having a better day! :)
It will get easier! Mine are 7 and 10 and our days are so less stress free now. With hubby being gone for 2 months, I am so thankful. He once deployed when Brenna was 2 and Morgan was 5. I do not now how I made it through those days! But yes, as they grow, it gets easier. I loved them as babies and miss it but I love where they are right now. Being able to see a movie together or play a game. They are all different phases in our life. For now though, kiss you baby boy and take joy in the fact he still naps! :). Hugs!
Hi! I KNOW you’re going to get alot of comments on this one =) =) just because, being a Mommy is hard! Period.
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on your blog before but I love reading it — ever since I read the story of your last birth, it grabbed me and I always remember to read your updates.
Just wanted to say that, I am 35 and have 8 children ages 12 to 2 months old, none of them multiples. I am just now coming out of the fog that wraps around the whole stage of having a baby, and I feel COMPLETELY the same as you. I know I am going to look back on the newborn stage with an ache in my heart and an “I miss that!!” but at the same time, I am so ready to have a little normalcy in my life again!
And it was so, so true what you wrote about decor and how therapeautic it is. I never realized that before just a couple of years ago, what was missing in my life! It is the ONE THING that I can have control over — and also, that makes my day seem not so mundane. If I can change one thing in my home each day that makes me happy to see it, just one little bitty project that I can do a little further work on, it makes each day not seem so much like…the same.
Anyway, know you’re not alone and we all have those days, or even a very long string of those days in a row! Hang in there, soon enough he’ll be like 4 years old and super happy just to play in his room with his cars and you’ll wonder where the time has gone.
But by then you’ll have older girl drama to deal with…ha ha! It never really does get “easier” so to speak, I don’t think – we just kind of go through seasons where we feel like we’re drowning, and then other times where we feel helpless…frustrated…but then, happy times too.
Love love love your blog!!! =)
Oh Erin, some days just suck! Being a mother is SUCH HARD WORK and often it’s all you can do to just hang on til bedtime. The toddler stage is so hard for me, too, getting those kids from walking to about 4 years old seems like sheer torture sometimes. I was looking at some baby pictures of Mack the other day and I practically started lactating right at the computer. He was so sweet back then, so cuddly, so unwhiney, so unwillful, so EASY!
The best thing you can do is make Kenny babysit this weekend and go out with some friends who uplift you. It will remind you that you are a vibrant human being who exists and has value outside of your children. Getting away always sends you back home with renewed peace about the life that is waiting for you there. And don’t feel guilty about just surviving during this stage. I just did a post on my blog about getting in a rut of just muddling through motherhood. Sometimes it’s all we can do. But when you are ready, there are a couple of ideas that might bring a little sunshine back into your life.
Hang in there!
So with you on hard days, today was a hard day!Kids went back to school here in Australia, for first dayof the new year. My big girl now is in highschool, so 20 minute round trip to drop her, come back in time to drop mstr 10 off at primary school all with a sick 2.5 yr old and a 4yr old, who seem to have painted on ears today. Im writing this whilst eating my dinner on the lounge at 9pm!! Hope the rest of the week gets better
I feel awful, but your post also made me laugh. You write like I would. I know how you feel. I get it! I GET YOU! I love the conversation between you and Kenny.
Thanks for keeping it real, Erin – I totally know what those days are like and you just want to crumble… lack of sleep doesn’t help either!
I’m LOVING, hehe, get it, love ;) your Valentine mantel – mine’s a work in progress, but yours is just gorgeous! I love the blues mixed in.
“You are dead to me”
I laughed out loud. Too funny.
I mean, I know not really funny in the moment, but you wrote about it so funny. ;)
I hate days like that. I’m sorry.
Sometimes I ask my husband if we are always going to feel this tired. Are we? I’m still not sure.
I feel the same. I love my job, but feel like some days it’s a half marathon, when what I want is a 5k!
I love your honesty. And I feel the same way…so I’ve had a long and hard year now. It’s good to realize I am not the only one that struggles with this time in their life.
Sick kids are so hard and I have made my share of those phone calls to my husband too! Glad that day is over and that you are feeling much better. Motherhood is not for wimps!
I’m sorry to hear about your rough day. My favorite years are actually ages newborn to about 3 years old, if you can believe that ;) I’ve had plenty of days like you describe, and often my husband can’t come home to help because he’s a fire fighter and is gone 24 hours, sometimes 3 or 4 days at a time. Being a mommy is hard stuff! I guess all us moms can agree to that :) My youngest is 3 now, and things are much easier, in a way, with a house full of children ages 3 and older. But…I still miss those baby years and would do it all again, if I could :)
Been there , done that. Your not alone. My kids are older now, My oldest is 13 & my youngest 9.
Things even out as they get older, I promise ;)
Oh my goodness, I totally I agree with you. I have two children, a 5 yr old girl & a 2 yr old boy & sometimes the 5 yr old seems to give me the most drama. It is difficult to “get it ALL done”, I feel too that sometimes that we are “under”-appreciated for all the work that we truly do at home. But one day we will be queens in our kingdom with our Heavenly Father & HE sees it all. That brings me comfort. I need to learn to relax more when I have a task in mind to do & then I get sudden kid interruptions, that is my fault. Thanks for sharing & know that you are not alone with these frustrating mommy moments.
Vickt T.
I am about 10 years ahead of you as a Mom. Those days can be totally draining and can drive you crazy, but I will say those days are simpler than what I am living right now! I have 4 children ages 12 to 18 and the things we deal with now…well I would give up in a heartbeat for potty training and not sleeping through the night. Right now I don’t sleep through the night because I just found out my son has been drinking and sleeping around. My daughter was chatting with a 40 year old man online and almost went to meet him. My 12 year old is failing 7th grade due to severe learning diabilities. I’m not trying to diminish your hard day, but just trying to give some perspective from a Mom who has done both.
Anonymous – I’m so sorry to hear about everything you have on your plate right now! I can’t even imagine. It seems like hard days with little ones are more physically draining and hard days with teenagers are more mentally draining. Definitely more “serious” stuff to deal with as they get older. Even though I have my days I’m definitely in no rush for my kids to grow up! I hope things turn around for you soon.
The one thing I have learned from parenting is that it’s hard NO MATTER THE AGE of your kids. Every single age from one minute old on has its ups and downs. I don’t think you can even compare one to the other in saying that one is harder than another. It’s all hard. Just different hard.
((HUGS)) to you sweet friend. Wish I was there to take care of you.
Years later I can still remember telling Steve he needed to come home and then as happens … it didn’t quite happen. So hard. Glad today is a better day. I have Friday off and so looking forward to some cleaning and organizing :).
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I wasn’t trying to say mine is harder than hers, but I would give anything for the simplicity of the hard problems back when my kids were small. The problems we face now are heart wrenching and almost feel impossible to know what to do with. My children are making horrible choices that may very well end them in jail or worse. I have no control right now so enjoy your time while your little ones are under your roof and while you still have most of the control of the influences in their lives. Love them, enjoy every second because yes it does get harder.
Anonymous my heart is breaking for you. I pray you may find peace.
erin, you are doing such a fabulous job as a mother to your three adorable children! just want you to know that first and foremost.
secondly, thank you for sharing that conversation you had with kenny. it seriously made me laugh out loud. i’ll have to remember the, “you are dead to me” line. love it! :)
hope kole is feeling better and that things have settled down a bit around your home. take care of you!
So cute!! I remember my sister and I feeling that way when one of us would attend a birthday party without the other….such a nice idea to keep the other entertained and excited about something. My Mum used to do that too!
The valentines boxes are SO cute!! I love them!
I’m not a commenter, but I read, subscribe, enjoy. Tears literally started running down my face as I was reading this. ME TOO is what I wanted to scream but I dare not for fear of waking that nearly 2 year old of mine, not to mention the 7 year old. And the weird thing is that I know you and I are not alone, 2 of my friends with toddlers just mentioned the same thing. It’s like they have a toddler forum or Babybook where they decide that it’s Let’s Make Mom Miserable week and laugh at us. I feel the same way about the newborn stage too, when most people LOVE newborns, I cringe! I’ve stopped feeling guilty that I wish I had a fast forward button….if you find one in Cali, let me know, I could use one here in Louisiana!
Oh, it really can be hard when your little one is in that stage where he KNOWS his mind but he can’t SAY what is on his mind. It’s like they go through this period of being extra frustrated and hard to deal with. Once I had one of those awful, awful days, and something happened like my husband didn’t answer his work phone when he should have (actually working, you know) and I somehow got it into my head that he must bring home flowers, or else. I have a feeling I may have been pregnant at the time. Anyway, I couldn’t think of how to make sure he brought me flowers, because leaving a message saying, “You have to come home with a dozen roses,” kind of ruins the effect. So….I actually went into my room, knelt down, and prayed that my husband would come home with flowers. {Blush} Heavenly Father must have a real sense of humor or just really loves his daughters who are struggling with those energetic little spirits, because guess what? That night my husband was a little late, but walked into the house with a little bush of tea roses that he’d picked up at the grocery store on the way home. He told me he saw them and thought they would brighten my day. I think I fell in love with him all over again that day.
It will get better, I promise. It will get better right around the time that your oldest turns 12 and a brand new adventure in parenting begins….
The newborn stage was not a favorite for me or my husband either.
You are not alone, and as you know it doesn’t last… (though it’s hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel when you’re constantly spinning around in the middle of it!)
I totally get your attitudes toward organizing/re-arranging your environment to have some sense of constancy in your world. Hang in there –
and, in the meantime you are totally due for a girls night out or date night – – – or BOTH! :)
I totally get this–one of those days + law firm life is never a good combination!
Definitely agree that once my daughter turned 1 in January I felt like, ‘yikes! I forgot about this stage. This is the part I find the toughest!’
Dinner…argh. On tough days the kids and I have snack fests and I call my husband and cross my fingers and hope that he is staying late and ordering dinner into the office so I’m off the hook.
That sounds like the conversation I have with my husband every.single.day. Granted his commute is horrible (~2 hrs), but holding down the fort for 13 hours is exhausting! And I only have 1 boy! You are Superwoman! Thank you for having a blog :)