Today it was cloudy. And today I was sad. Addison is sick and my mom (who has been here for a week) flew back to Utah. I’m always sad to say good-bye to my mom. We had such a great week together. We cried at the airport, (airports seem to have that effect, don’t they?) which is funny to me now because I’ll see her in a few weeks. Still though, it’s hard to say goodbye and for some reason I was just in the mood to be sad. Did I mention it was cloudy? I thought about calling Kenny to tell him I was feeling depressed, but then figured he was probably on an important call, at an important board meeting, or lunching with important clients. He always seems to be doing something important. I figured he deals with enough estrogen at home on a daily basis so I didn’t call. I left the airport and on the way home I passed a homeless man on the side of the road. He looked sad too. I slowed down and gave him some cash and he seemed so touched. Then I cried the whole way home because I felt guilty for being sad over random nothingness when this man doesn’t even have a family to go home to. I decided to call Kenny anyway and bawled to him on the phone about how I was just having one of those days and couldn’t stop crying. He immediately went into “fix mode” trying to say things that would cheer me up when really I didn’t want to be cheered up, I just wanted someone to listen. I came home and held Addison. The house felt too quiet. Then I realized I’m probably feeling this way because I’m so tired. The last two nights I’ve been up with Addison – nights full of coughing and rocking. Did I mention she is sick? I hate it when my kids are sick. It stresses me out. A friend came by who had called earlier and could tell I was crying. She brought me a cupcake to cheer me up. Friends are nice. Cupcakes are nice too. Two hours later I called the doctor and took Addison in because her cough was so bad. Kenny came home from work early to hang out with Ellie… and because I think he still wanted to ‘fix’ me and my mood. When I got home from the doctor I asked Ellie if she had eaten dinner. She answered “yes, daddy gave me Ritz crackers and Triscuits.” I smiled and thought of how lucky I am to have Kenny. I fed Ellie (Addison didn’t eat a thing all day) and with Kenny’s help continued with the craziness that is the girls’ bedtime routine.
Now Kenny and I are watching So You Think You Can Dance. I’m eating strawberries with cool whip. The monitor is on and I can hear Addison upstairs snoring soundly. I’m feeling a little better. Hopefully tomorrow it will be sunny.
11 thoughts on “Dear Diary,”
I am so sorry you are so sad!! Your post makes me sad! I think you need to go pick some lemons off of your lemon tree and make lemonade! I don’t ever see you sad. (are you pregnant!!) just kidding!! I hope that tomorrow is a much better day for you. You need to come up to Santa Clara, and lay in the sun, and go to luch, and chit chat with all of us girls!!! That sounds like a really happy thing to do!! Love ya!! Hope you have higher spirits soon!!
Erin, how can you be cute even when you are sad? I know that you didn’t post pics but you still sound cute. V. sorry that you had a sad day but very relieved that it happens (rarely) to you too. Glad you blogged about it. No doubt it will be sunny tomorrow, right? Meet you at the beach:)
I cry at the airport when my mom leaves too! Darn those airports. Hope today is a better one!
Sorry to hear about your sad day. It is so hard to have our mom’s leave (I’m so jealous of all those people who get to live by their moms). Good luck with everything and hopefully the sun will come out tomorrow!!!
I’ve been sad too! It has to be this weather. Are you craving pot-roast and pie also!? Everyone was laughing at me at the beach when I said that, but it’s true (BTY I was in a sweatshirt and sweatpants it was so cold for the first hour and a half we were there). Hope your feeling better.
I was having one of those days a few weeks ago. I was like one of those scenes in a movie, every music station I turned to had a song that related to my mood, “Rain on you Parade”, “Bad Day”…It was so ironic that it made me laugh, and I was better again. Bad Day /Good entry, Erin.
Oh Erin, thank GOODNESS you are human! I was beginning to think you weren’t. I have those days all the time, but a lot less now that Sam has been sleeping better the last four months. Sleep deprivation always makes me irrational. That being said, it is so okay to just be sad and cry. It’s good for you.
Nothing worse than having sick kids-except when you are sick yourself-we all feel for ya. I always feel sad when my parents leave as well-seem like the whole day is a little gloomy after that.
Oh Erin, I so know what you mean- sometimes we do just need to be sad. But we do have SO much to be happy about and we are SO blessed. Glad you had a fun week with your Mom. (Be especially grateful you have her:) Hope Addie is feeling better. And hope you had fun watching SYTYCD! The season is off to a great start!
I love you guys and can’t wait to see you!!!
It was the weather and that you were tired!
Wasn’t today beautiful?? I hope Addie is feeling better.
This blog post is very touching to me. My father is homeless (chronic alcoholism and bi-polar) and I love him very much and help him financially and emotionally to the extent I can, he does not have a home to go to, but he does have a family to turn to. Everyone else in our family has turned his back on him and ceased communication, but he still has me, his daughter. I am always touched by the kindness of strangers to people who are homeless. There is usually a tragic story and underlying medical condition underneath.
Thanks for helping that homeless man. You might have made his year.
I think it was very good of you to take your own sadness and turn it into help for another person less fortunate than you. Thanks.