Today it was cloudy. And today I was sad. Addison is sick and my mom (who has been here for a week) flew back to Utah. I’m always sad to say good-bye to my mom. We had such a great week together. We cried at the airport, (airports seem to have that effect, don’t they?) which is funny to me now because I’ll see her in a few weeks. Still though, it’s hard to say goodbye and for some reason I was just in the mood to be sad. Did I mention it was cloudy? I thought about calling Kenny to tell him I was feeling depressed, but then figured he was probably on an important call, at an important board meeting, or lunching with important clients. He always seems to be doing something important. I figured he deals with enough estrogen at home on a daily basis so I didn’t call. I left the airport and on the way home I passed a homeless man on the side of the road. He looked sad too. I slowed down and gave him some cash and he seemed so touched. Then I cried the whole way home because I felt guilty for being sad over random nothingness when this man doesn’t even have a family to go home to. I decided to call Kenny anyway and bawled to him on the phone about how I was just having one of those days and couldn’t stop crying. He immediately went into “fix mode” trying to say things that would cheer me up when really I didn’t want to be cheered up, I just wanted someone to listen. I came home and held Addison. The house felt too quiet. Then I realized I’m probably feeling this way because I’m so tired. The last two nights I’ve been up with Addison – nights full of coughing and rocking. Did I mention she is sick? I hate it when my kids are sick. It stresses me out. A friend came by who had called earlier and could tell I was crying. She brought me a cupcake to cheer me up. Friends are nice. Cupcakes are nice too. Two hours later I called the doctor and took Addison in because her cough was so bad. Kenny came home from work early to hang out with Ellie… and because I think he still wanted to ‘fix’ me and my mood. When I got home from the doctor I asked Ellie if she had eaten dinner. She answered “yes, daddy gave me Ritz crackers and Triscuits.” I smiled and thought of how lucky I am to have Kenny. I fed Ellie (Addison didn’t eat a thing all day) and with Kenny’s help continued with the craziness that is the girls’ bedtime routine.
Now Kenny and I are watching So You Think You Can Dance. I’m eating strawberries with cool whip. The monitor is on and I can hear Addison upstairs snoring soundly. I’m feeling a little better. Hopefully tomorrow it will be sunny.